well on the first day of christmas my dealer gave to me a bag of shrooms and some lsd we snuck into the park to steal some xmas trees but the cops pulled up and asked us nicely to leave we're all fucked up on smirnoff eggnogg we crunch on candy canes and rev up all our chainsaws you give us 30 and we'll tie it up at no extra cost we'll take that 30 and spend it on pot we're not too bright we flunk all of our classes get in fights gettin drunk cuz we're bad kids our dads call us bastards mom's always plastered we're the closest thing to suburban gangstas cold air's what we breathe our vests have no sleeves it's hard to haul trees in subzero degrees we smell like evergreens
all I want for christmas is my two front teeth and some mistletoe all up in this piece maybe a girl that's free of disease and while I'm thinking, throw in a couple of g's yeah I want my snowmobile treads to be fixed I want a ho who doesn't mind my snowsuit doesn't fit I'm just a hayseed selling trees to break trees know yer daddy hates me it's drivin ya crazay
even though my nose is runny get the honey's cuz of money but I never get laid can't find my way into long undies I don't trip, just dip, listen to country with my piss I write my name because I think it's funny I'm so into this deciduous lifestyle you see dead tree and I see a cash cow I never bargain and I never back down put the back seat down and I take yer ass to tree town your daughter's givin me the eye so I am givin her a ride I'll put up the tree myself and put up all the lights as long as I get all up in her insides
all I want for xmas is my two front teeth and some mistletoe all up in this piece maybe a girl that's free of disease and while I'm thinking, throw in a couple of g's yeah I want my snowmobile treads to be fixed I want a ho who doesn't mind my snowsuit doesn't fit I'm just a hayseed selling trees to break trees I know your daddy hates me, It's driving you crazay