I got a dentist who's over seven feet tall I have a dentist who's over seven feet tall His name is Doctor Long John and he answers every call
You know, I went to Long John's office, I said "Doctor, the pain is killing me" I went to Long John's office, I said "Doctor, the pain is killing" He said, "Don't worry, baby It's just your cavity needs a little filling"
He took out his trusty drill, told me to open wide He said he wouldn't hurt me But he filled my whole inside Long John, Long John, don't you ever go away, no 'Cause you thrill me when you drill me And I don't need no Novocain today, oh
When he got done drillin' he said "Now, Miss Middler, that is going to cost you ten" "I was prepared to pay twenty" Yeah, yeah, yeah, when he got done drillin', he said "Baby, that's gonna cost you ten But if it ever starts into throbbing Come back and see old Long John Again and again and again and again and again Oh, yeah, oh"
"Long John" I sold my heart to Doctor Long John And I will never, never be the same Oh, that's so heavy I just gotta lay back"