I realized what death was as a little kid sitting in that pew, crying to my mom. Begging her. To never die. Having the courage of a coward, of a fucking kid. Waking up to a phone call, your brother just witnessed a murder. And all you can think of is the noise that will keep you awake tonight.
I was told not to be afraid of life or death, but all I can think of is how soon it ends.