Last man standing at the party full of friends I hardly know. Vacant eyes, a stranger’s number in my phone, and 99 bottles to focus beer goggles on some high street supermodel to help me feel less alone.
I ask myself if I’ve had enough and my head hurts when I shake it and make the decision instead to keep my vision blurred.
My eyelids click like camera shutters, trap snap shots for tomorrow: twisted mouths, mad laughs and smashed bottles, shots knocked back, spilt ashtrays and tongues touched. I’ll drink to that, just watch me come unstuck. Rub against another empty vessel, nameless faces press together leaving no lasting impression.
Power through on self-perpetuating hatred and makeshift excuses for having so much and still wasting it.
Flash backs come in freeze frames no moving images developing, just hollow snap shots, it’s all negatives.
I try to hide behind my eyelids with only the ringing in my ears to drown out the awkward silences. I ask myself if I’ve had enough and what it’s for. I nod towards my chest cause I can’t hold my head up anymore. I can’t hold my head up anymore. I can’t hold my head up anymore.
Lost control, I’ve gone too far, I know my limit now I’m lying on the floor. Been here before with only me on my side, with only me on my side.
I’ve had enough of go-faster stripes, of the sprint towards oblivion with no afterlife. I’ve had enough of the storm before the calm, consumed by my own appetite. I’ve had enough of full speed ahead, running on empty, enough of being my own worst enemy. I’ve had enough of being a head-bowed half-man, enough of the stumbling fuck-the-world type I can’t stand. I’ve had enough.
Lost control, I’ve gone too far, I know my limit now I’m lying on the floor. Been here before with only me on my side, with only me on my side. Lost control, I’ve gone too far, I know my limit now I’m lying on the floor. Been here before with only me on my side, with only me on my side.
I’ve had enough of taking memories like snap shots I see the same blank face with different backdrops. I’ve had enough of taking memories like snap shots I see the same blank face with different backdrops. I’ve had enough of taking memories like snap shots I see the same blank face with different backdrops. I’ve had enough of taking memories like snap shots I see the same blank face with different backdrops.