I refuse to overdose on antidepressants When single teenage girls tell me my rhymes aren't impressive Especially when their mothers left the distinct impression That for all these mics I'm flexing I get to fondle a freshman Catch folks at my shows, mid-river jig Drowning in toxins until their livers get big Pre-show, I pre-game with green tea and Coltrane End the night on a high note I'm the conductor of the soul train Afterwards I'm for sure going home alone Until a harajuku girl asks if I'd rather read her a poem I'm fairly certain Robert Frost was as sad as me Unsure if the cause was from playing frat homes for free I'm frantically searching for my niche And telling my mogul virgin daughters I write rhymes with velvet tips True true my lapel reeks of Aqua Velva Blue My breast pocket has a few crushed Alka-Seltzers too I get an upset stomach whenever I become a rapping pundit Spitting the nerdiest raps at the burliest of frats And wondering why these cats continue to hurriedly call me back To perform tracks about various philosophical facts Namely, I exist and you probably don't And I'll ask you to buy my CD and you probably won't I'm a career player who is exceptional at free throws Crafting jams for brown weirdos telling them not to fear those Who may not understand the appeal of Lando Calrissian These people deserve our prayers and we should pity them I scribble these words up in the death note All my enemies developed was a cleft lip though I wish every other rap guy had streptococcus In bland hospital rooms they'd be left to mock us And their miseries would soon become my profits
This is nerd-hop I'm on that David Foster Wallace So please hoist your wallets and Turn out your pockets [X4]
This is nerd-hop
I need you to pay me so I can buy shea butter for my curls And a big jug of whey protein to impress some girls These bars are tasty, be sure to grab another helping And I'll EQ the track so you can hear me over the yelping Behold as Cap'n Crunch prepares your lunch Overloads your sense perceptions and delivers a donkey punch The big gig in the sky is probably a state fair I'll be there pretending it's a white collar affair Your home girl can take a peek, it's a dollar to stare I'm accepting volunteers to draft my Wikipedia page As soon as D3 drops I'll be Nvidia's slave That was a subtle shout out to my cats building PCs My fell Yougate mage, PKs clap your hands please These people buy their drinks at Starbucks I wanted to pilot a Viper starfighter and be Starbuck I'm spitting raps that make Cliff Huxtable proud I'm borderline unstoppable now
This is nerd-hop I'm on that David Foster Wallace So please hoist your wallets and Turn out your pockets [X6]