There once was a farmer from old Flotsam town Who was tired of sowing his seeds on the ground He went for a wander and walked till the dawn Till a wanton old she troll he stumbled upon
And a hey-ho he's ploughing a troll! The gods only know how the key fits the hole Around in the stinking great den they did roll And a hey-ho he's ploughing a troll!
The farmer he knew it was love at first sight They ploughed through the morning and into the night With teeth rotten black and a rank leather hide This hideous creature his bestial bride
And a hey-ho he's ploughing a troll! The gods only know how the key fits the hole A cavernous cave for his puny old pole And a hey-ho he's ploughing a troll!
After time his excitement it started to droop He groaned at her farts and her cold onion soup The troll fixed his eye with a scowl made of stone And when the guards came around all they found were his bones
And a hey-ho he was ploughing a troll! The gods only know how the key fit the hole No burial mound and no rest for his soul Because hey-ho he was ploughing a troll!
And a hey-ho he was ploughing a troll! The gods only know how the key fit the hole A dirty auld tale from the bed to the bowl Because hey-ho he was ploughing a troll!