You know you're actually kinda cute With your halo and your Morrissey t-shirt Scratching round the chicken feathers and dirt Everybody has to make a living
You know you're actually kinda cute Like a child getting to grips with the big words I've got a new one that you might not have heard You are a fucking charlatan (not the band)
In the absence of a day of judgement Well I will state this for the record now You are a dick and once told me You also have a weak handshake
You can dress up like a pig in lipstick You can fool the fans but deep down you know You are a dick and once told me You are a weak fucking handshake
Shed your skin like a snake Slip it off like a stripper's Velcro hot pants Like yesterday's --- sycophants an inconvenient opinion
Leave that skin by the road side --- a statue A memorial --- tribute It says you're kinda cute
In the absence of a day of judgement Well I will state this for the record now You are a dick in worms clothing You also have a weak handshake
You can dress up like a pig in lipstick You can fool the fans but deep down you know You are a dick in worms clothing You are a weak fucking handshake
'Cause here's the thing There are certain kinds of things That just can't be helped It's just the way you were whelped
It isn't really fair To judge a man by his stupid fucking hair To call him out for his beady eyes and his beer gut No matter how much they might make you wanna throw up
Then you come to the matters of moral agency The decisions that make you the man that you're meant to be The battlements from which you will not be budged The choices by which you can said to be judged
You made your bed so now you can lie in it --- a prison and one day you'll die in it I only hope I'll live to see the day ---
In the absence of a day of judgement Well I will state this for the record now You are a dick in worms clothing You also have a weak handshake
You can dress up like a pig in lipstick You can fool the fans but deep down you know You are a dick in worms clothing You are a weak fucking handshake
Exhibit A: your fucking legacy Exhibit B: you're fucking everything Exhibit C: you're fucking nothing The prosecution rests