I thought I felt your shape but I was wrong Really all I felt was falsely strong I held on tight and closed my eyes It was dumb I had no sense of your size
It was dumb to hold so tight But last night On the birthday in the kitchen My grip was loose my eyes were open
I felt your shape and heard you breathing I felt the rise and fall of your chest I felt your fall Your winter snows Your gusty blow Your lava flow I felt it all Your starry night Your lack of light With limp arms I can feel most of you
I hung around your neck independently And my loss was overwhelmed By this new depth I don’t think I ever felt
But I don’t know The nights are cold And I remember warmth I could have sworn I wasn’t alone
Pt.2
there's no more hugging in the kitchen no more pats on the back in the hall no more chest on breasty chest behind the curtain no more lip on nape of neck in shower stall no more rosy gardens no more craving curving hips on my belly I'm giving up so I can be free from you I'm paying fees so I can sever ties from you Let craving call and beg and bawl and face it tall Let my soft skin have more sweet soft air on me. Let boulders drown.