Now I am a man of the simplest of pleasures I'll read an erotic pamphlet of my leasure But never with anything else on my mind Then making the most of the passing of time I'm a romantic at heart as you know But I'm also starting to grow So I'll delve slightly deeper inside Until I find something that turns my insides The tide has turned, it seems When all of my dreams on amorous themes And holding hands have been dashed Long before the bishop's been mashed. The cash to be made from depravity, And filling bodily cavities in darkened lavatories Have replaced the seductive arts So a crusade I'm going to start: Why can't there be more kissing in porn Something here is rather missing or wrong Why can't there be more kissing in porn Where has all the romance gone? (moaning) [spoken: stop that] Now I like to think my doctrine is methodical I've flipped through pages of anatomical periodicals I can see nothing too deep on "Good lord, that thing is the size of a tree trunk" My theory is simple enough A little more kissing A little less muff Is the start of a gentleman's Night timely dreams And not the extremes That are brought on these screams And these harlots and charlatans And g-strings and tan lines And from where this gentle- Man rhymes There's no sense of whimsy Their plots are so flimsy And ten seconds in it's just wall to wall mimsy It seems to me something must be done I don't want to see one single more rerun Of some nutter chuffing in some filly's face: I raise a petition to clean up the place! Why can't there be more kissing in porn All I can see is pissing and scorn Why can't there be more kissing in porn Where has all the romance gone? (moaning) [Kissing in porn] x6 (more moaning) {To shave and a haircut}That's why I like kissing...in porn