I'm throwing up in a bathroom off the A363 And there's a man who wants to kill me outside the door And the woman waiting tables thinks she's going home with me But I can barely drag my fat arse off the floor And the band is playing a love song that I hate But they're all so bloody awful it sounds great
And I can't believe the depths to which This life of mine has sunk But I'm not drinking to forget you I'm just drinking to get drunk
Well it's five years since we parted And seven since we met And I guess it seems my life is quite a mess But I ain't broken-hearted Though my memory needs refreshed Did you leave 'cuz of the drinking Or am I drinking 'cuz you left?
But I'm okay, I got my friends around me Jim Beam and Johnnie Walker Well hell, they're close as family
And I can't believe the depths to which This life of mine has sunk But I'm not drinking to forget you I'm just drinking to get drunk
So let's drink to your health I'll never find someone else While I'm this damn soused See the only birds with whom I converse Are a Wild Turkey and The Famous Grouse
So I'm sleeping it off in a bathroom off the A363 And there's a pissed-up Brummie bastard outside the door And the woman waiting tables packed off home at half-past-three And says she never weants to see me anymore
And the band has started playing our favourite song At least that's what I think it is But I'm so far gone that I'm probably wrong
And I can't believe the depths to which This life of mine has sunk But I'm not drinking to forget you I'm just drinking to get drunk
And our son thinks I'm a loser And out friends think I'm a chump But I'm not drinking to forget you I'm just drinking to get drunk