warm and wet, the night closed around me, around us. concentrate on what's ahead, i demanded of myself. skin calling to me like a mewling cub needing sustenance, i could not look away. those curves and crumbling thought processes, drunk on denial and smoking cancersticks for the thrill of it. holding in the gaseous waste of my trembling corpse, the heat of the season creating wet grass to lay upon and ponder the brightest star in the sky, the moon travels on her course and illuminates what i think i want, what i know i need, what i think i need what i know i want, confusion. the barrier that will never be crossed. crashing down around my shoulders, time and space become crystalised and we stop and step back from the train wreck in progress, the avalanche in pause, before we collide, before genitals meet and lips froth with the exchange of different flavours of saliva, diametrically opposed down to the very last molecule, one male, one female, both totally fucking insane. realisation, a mistake to be averted. step sideways to avoid the crunch of bone on bone. looking back to see the damaged hulls of two ships that passed in the summer night, never to meet again.