If you’ve seen a show Then you already know How magical theater can be It’s a two-hour, live-action, barely affordable, un-lip-synced version of “Glee“ So, this song goes out to the rest of you Those who’ve never seen theater before. Because Broadway has never been broader It’s not just for gays anymore! If you feel like someone that this world excludes It’s no Longer only for dudes who like dudes Attention every breeder Your invited to the theater It’s not just for gays anymore! The glamor of Broadway is beckoning straights The people who marry in all 50 states We’re asking every hetero to get to know us better-o It’s not just for gays anymore! It’s for fine, upstanding Christians who know all the song from Grease It’s for sober-minded businessman Who yearn for some release So, put down your Playboy and go make a plan To pick up a Playbill and feel like a man There’s so much to discover With your different-gendered lover It’s not just for gays The gays and the Jews And cousins in from out of town you have to amuse And the sad, embittered malcontents who write the reviews And also foreign tourists And the geeks of senior citizens And well-to-do suburbanites And liberal intellectuals Though that group is really only Jews and homosexuals I’ve lost my train of thought Oh yes, It’s not just for gays anymore! … We’ve got swarms of Mormons, showgirls, sailors, dancing boys and nuns Plus a Spider facing, death-defying, budget over-runs So, people from Red states, and people from Blue A big Broadway rainbow is waiting for you Come in and be inspired There’s no sodomy required Oh it’s not just for gays It’s not just for gays We'd be twice as proud to have you if you go both ways Broadway is not just for gays anymore!