Oh hey. Did I ever tell you about the time that Ninja Brian and I saved the world from super monsters? Yeah, that's a thing that happened. So please, pay attention. I'm talking to you, Doug. Jesus.
It's the middle of the day but darkness falls on the city It's the shadow of a giant cybernetic death kitty And on the other side of town something rages down the path If you had a lisp you'd know it's kickin' therious ath Mortal enemies since the early days of yore We're just collateral damage in their giant-ass war They rumble, battle, tussle, and then do a cocky strut They both know they're kicking Earth right in its planetary nuts
Not a single human being can survive in the vicinity It's kinda like Godzilla squared but also times infinity Me and Ninja Brian were just chillin' at our place When we got a frantic call from the President of Space Saying, "You're the only hope to save billions of lives" I said, "I'm making baked potatoes and I'm about to add the chives We can be there in an hour if we really, really try." But we didn't, so they ate France, sorry if you died
Rhinoceratops versus Superpuma Giants from the sky with no sense of humor Everyone's in danger from their massive-ass brawl One shat on Minneapolis, the other St. Paul Rhinoceratops versus Superpuma I am pretty sure that they pissed on Cuba I would be lucky if we live to see dawn They killed a million people and they just stepped on my lawn
FUCK! I just had that re-sodded. That's gonna be like twenty-five dollars, at least. Damn it.
A couple hours later NSP hit the scene You know we could have been there sooner but we stopped for ice cream "Where have you been!?" screamed the president, "We're all under attack!" "I had a craving for pistachio, get off my fucking back." Brian busted out a keyboard and I grabbed my blue bass Some guy said "What are you doing?" so we punched him in the face Superpuma was a girl, Rhinoceratops a dude We knew that all we had to do was get them in the booty mood We rocked so hard it put the monsters in a trance And they lept up on each other in a frenzy of romance I was immediately sorry that they weren't wearing pants Now I can't forget the sight of Superpuma getting lanced When the sex was over they took off into the sky All the world screamed "NSP you are super-awesome guys" So we finished off the night with an amazing rock show Then Brian stabbed a random guy while I got laid twice in a row
Rhinoceratops versus Superpuma Life on Earth survived, but it was kind of screwed up Finally we’re safe, stupid Doug shouts "Hooray!" Doug you suck but that's a story for another day Rhinoceratops versus Superpuma I think there's a lesson here that needs reviewal Choose sex over murder even if you're from the stars Or you might kill a planet and also scratch my car
Son of a bitch! I'm gonna have to lightly buff that out. Also, that's definitely space rhino jizz on my porch.