It's the holiday clusterfuck, holiday clusterfuck Citizens gathered together to run a muck Bucks flying Everywhere, folks pulling out their hair People are waving while paying with great despair If we don't fill winter with dollar bills then our depression peaks on top We'd rather have stress than to be real depressed so we all shop until we drop
Malls crowded everyplace, nowhere a parking space Everyone's screaming "Get Your ass out of my face" Buying Kids Cheap Costumes, Lines in all the bathrooms Paying a fortune, Extortion's now in full bloom People are shoving while claiming they're loving that holiday joy they feel And your kids feel that joy if you buy the right toy so better keep your eyes peeled
Holiday Clusterfuck, Holiday Clusterfuck Citizens gathered together to run a muck Antiques and Christmas Cups, Suicide Rates go up Kids whining "Buy me a Robotic Psycho Pup" Holidays jumbled, three months is a bundle to handle with grace and ease We must make a living so piss off Thanksgiving, and jump straight to Christmas, please
Going, Going, and Gone Change Decorations out on your Front Lawn Losing that Magical Touch Seeing your In-Laws three times is too much Trick Or Treat, Merry Christmas Going to Church for your annual mass Kwanzaa, Hanukkah too Best get it right, Someone's libel to sue
Holiday Clusterfuck, Holiday Clusterfuck Millions of Billions find their shit just out of luck Visiting Santa's Crib, lying straight too your kids Pray they don't need therapy for your tiny fib This shit comes earlier, seems almost every year, making us spend away Christmas if we voted should not be promoted right after St. Patrick's day
Christmas and Halloween, Thanksgiving's in between Putting on more weight than Shamu on Lean Cuisine Snow falling everywhere, Traffic's a real nightmare Can't wait for summer, a bummer, we're kind of scared Emotions flying, our patience is dying, what happened to all our cheer? We whisk money away until Valentine's Day, thank god it's just once a year
Holiday TV Specials Watching Santa Claus and Jesus wrestle Sending out Christmas Cards too Wishing good cheer to folks you hardly knew
It's the Holidaaaaay The Holidaaaaay
Holiday Clusterfuck, Holiday Clusterfuck When did this time of year, full of cheer start to suck? Someone cut us a break, help us for Heaven's sake We're frowning while drowning, please God no more fruitcakes It lasts a while so put on your smile, don't let them know how you feel We all have to fake it so shut up and take it and chow on your Christmas Meal
It's the Holidaaaaay The Holidaaaaay Clusterfuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!