Dumbledore died a pretty long while ago But his followers mourn to this day A tragic event, we wish that he didn't go Then we later found out that he was gay Well I was dicking around outside the castle grounds And I found the beloved man's grave So to pay my respects I set some flowers out And I water them in my own special way
I'm draining the lizard on a dead gay wizard There's a slight chance of rain for our headmaster today I'm leaking the Schwartz upon the master of Hogwarts And I'm pissing on Dumbledore's grave
Dumbledore's memory will be in our dreams Well, we always knew that he was Number One And though I'm washing those memories away in a stream There are many good things that he's done If your day was a drought he'd always help you out With a golden shine from within He would come to your side at each catastro-pee So you're safe from the danger urine
I'm draining the lizard on a dead gay wizard The chamber of secrets sprung a small leak today I'm making an ocean with a magical potion And I'm pissing on Dumbledore's grave
This act I'm committing seems so perfect and fitting And it feels so good to pour these feelings out As he sits and decays I'm feeling pretty okay Besides a shower's one thing he's gone too long without
From the land of the free to France where they say "oui, oui" They say I'm doing something awful and wrong But though a great flood of pee-ple might be pissed off at me At least they're not getting pissed on
I'm draining the lizard on a dead gay wizard I'm speaking in Parseltongue to whip out the snake I'm whizzing the wand to make a magical pond And I'm pissing on Dumbledore's grave
I'm draining the lizard on a dead gay wizard I can hear Rowling bawling but I still won't behave I'm baptizing the phoenix using my full petrenis And I'm pissing on Dumbledore's grave
Everybody!
I'm draining the lizard on a dead gay wizard It's the first wand unleashed on him since his dying day Though I'm merely a Muggle, I can summon a puddle
And incase you were pee-occupied and didn't hear me... I'm pissing on Dumbledore's grave