there was an old women who said her goodbyes by gathering everyone she knew and telling them her lies “i wasn’t faithful to my husband, i lied to my friends but in the end i was thinking about you”
when my mom had my brother she was no older than me so why’s it so hard to imagine a family where i’m the one in charge, and not just a kid and i think of what she did
and then my mind tells me to stop, compare what you do on top of everything she was just a child, too she wasn’t giving up, despite the things she said when she left she was thinking about you
i convince myself everyday i’m not going to disappear you think i’d be okay with the thought after 20 years but the ideas keep me up, and even if i could sleep i wouldn’t want to dream, because i’m thinking about you and it’s driving me mad
i don’t want to think about what we said or have to justify why i stay in bed instead of going out with my friends all the time
is it so hard to believe that sometimes we as human beings get sad.