Oorhamlet - Весь Гамлет за 3 минуты (по-шотландски :) ) | Текст песни

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• Oorhamlet
• Весь Гамлет за 3 минуты (по-шотландски :) )

(Trad / Adam McNaughtan)
There was this king sleepin' in his gairten all alane
When his brither in his ear drapped a wee tate o' henbane
He stole his brither's crown an' his money an' his widow
But the deid king walked an' got his son and said, Noo listen, kiddo
I've been killed and it's yer duty tae take revenge on Claudius
So kill him quick an' clean an' show the nation what a fraud he is
The boy said, Right, I'll dae it but I'll have tae play it crafty
And so naeb'dy will suspect me I'll kid on that I'm a dafty

So to all except Horatio, an' he trusts him as a friend
Hamlet, that's the boy, kids on he's roon' the bend
An' because he wisnae ready for obligatory killin'
He tried tae mak' the king think he was tuppence aff the shillin'
Took the micky oot Polonius, treated poor Ophelia vile
Tell't Rosencrantz an' Guildenstern Denmark was a jile
Then a troop of travelling actors, like Seven-Eighty-Four
Arrived tae dae a special one-night gig in Elsinore

Hamlet, Hamlet loved his mammy
Hamlet, Hamlet, actin' barmy
Hamlet, Hamlet, hesitatin'
Wonders if the ghost's a cheat
An' that is why he's waitin'

So Hamlet writes a scene for the players to enact
So Horatio an' him could watch to see if Claudius cracked
The play was ca'd 'The Moosetrap' - no' the one that's runnin' noo
An' sure enough, the king walked oot before the scene was through
So Hamlet's got the proof that Claudius gie'd his Da' the dose
The only problem bein' noo Claudius knows he knows
While Hamlet tells his mammy her new husband's no' a fit one
Uncle Claud puts oot a contract with the English king as hit-man

When Hamlet killed Polonius, the concealed Corpus Delicti
Was the king's excuse tae send him for an English hempen necktie
Wi' Rosencrantz an' Guildenstern tae make sure he'd get there
But Hamlet jumped the boat an' put the finger on that pair
Then Laertes heard his Da' had been stabbed through the arras
He came racin' back tae Elsinore tout-d'-suite hot-foot frae Paris
Ophelia wi' her Da' killed by the man she wished tae marry
After sayin' it wi' flooers she committed hari-kari

Hamlet, Hamlet, nae messin'
Hamlet, Hamlet learned his lesson
Hamlet, Hamlet, Yorick's crust
Convinced him that men good or bad
At last return tae dust

Then Laertes lost his place an' wis demandin' retribution
But the king said, Keep the heid, I'll provide ye a solution
So he arranged a swordfight for the interested pairties
Wi' a blunt sword for Hamlet an' a shairp sword for Laertes
To make things double sure - the old belt-'n'-braces line
He fixed a poisoned sword-tip and a poisoned cup o' wine
The poisoned sword got Hamlet but Laertes went an' muffed it
Cos' he got stabbed hissel' an' he confessed before he snuffed it

Then Hamlet's mammy drank the wine an' as her face turned blue
Hamlet said, I quite believe the king's a baddie noo
Incestuous, treacherous, damned Dane, he said, to be precise
An' made up for hesitatin' by killin' Claudius twice
Cos' he stabbed him wi' the sword, forced the wine between his lips
He said, The rest is silence - that was, Hamlet had his chips
They fired a volley o'er him that shook the topmost rafters
An' Fortinbras, knee-deep in Danes, lived happy ever after

Hamlet, Hamlet, a' the gory
Hamlet, Hamlet, end o' story
Hamlet, Hamlet, I'm away
And if you think this is borin'
You should read the bloody play

(as sung by Iain MacKintosh)

Tune: The Mason's Apron

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