Well he rode from the ocean far upstream Nuthin' to his name but a code and a dream Lookin' for the legendary inland sea Where the water was deep n' clean n' free But the town he found had suffered a blow Fish were dying, cause the water was low Fat cat fish name o' Diamond Dawes Plugged the stream with copyright laws
He said my water's good n' my water's free So Pond-erosa, you gonna thank me! Then he bottled it up and he labeled it "Mine" They opened n' poured, but they ran outta time! So Puff made a brand and he tanned his hide Said. "this is the mark of too much pride" Tied him to a horse, set the tail on fire Slapped er on the ass and the water went higher!
Pond-erosa Puff wouldn't take no guff Water oughta be clean and free So he fought the fight and he set things right With his OpenBSD
Well things were good fer a spell in town But then one day, dang water turned brown Comin' to the rescue, Mayor Reed He said, "This here filter's all ya'll need" But it didn't take long 'fore the filter plugged Full of mud, n' crud, n' bugs Folks said "gotta be a gooder way" Mayor said "Hell No! She's O.K."
"The water's fine on the Open range" And he passed a law that it couldn't change. "No freeze, no boil, no frolicking young" Puff took him aside, said "this is wrong" Then he found the Mayor was addin' the crud! So he took him down in a cloud of blood Said "The Mayor's learnd, he's done been mean" So they did it right and the water went clean!
CHORUS
So once agin' it was right, but then The lake went dry, she was gone again! Fish started flippin' and floppin' about Yellin' "Mercy Puff! It's a doggone drought!" So he rolled up-gulch till he hit the lake Of Apache fish, they was on the take They'd built a dam that was made of rules Now Puff was pissed and he lost his cool!
I'm sick and tired of these goldarn words! n' laws n' bureaucratic nerds! You're full o' beans n' killin' my town and if you's all don't shut er down I'll hang a lickin' on every one of you sons o' bitchin' greedy scum! So he blew the dam, an' he let 'er haul Cause water oughta be free for all!
CHORUS
That's right! I'll hang a lickin' on ya! Never piss on another man's boot!