I Want the Good Times Back {from The Little Mermaid} [Broadway Version]
URSULA When Daddy dear was floating on his deathbed He divvied up the kingdom into two I got his magic shell And half the sea as well His trident went to?
You know who his trident went to ? don't you, babies!
My reign ? why, it was blissfully delicious! And glamour, glitz and style were au courante! Did I use some black magic? Well, oopsie? my bad! Did I mutilate, maim and destroy? Just a tad! And for that, I get banished! But me, I'm not mad There's just one little thing that I want... Just one eensy teensy thing that I want:
I want the good times back! I want those grand ol' days! I want the twisted nights The sick delights The wild soire?s! I want those trembling crowds of shellfish Cracked and peeled for me to dine Not because I'm mean or selfish?
FLOTSAM & JETSAM No!
URSULA I only want what's mine! I want disgusting wealth! I want exquisite sin! Want the entire sea To worship me On bended fin! I want to greet my loving subjects And then have them as a snack! Remember those good times? I want them back!
Picture it, my sucklings. Pretty soon, we'll be back on top! Sipping bubbly. Eating caviar before it hatches! King Triton is the only thing that stands in my way. If only I can find his Achilles heel? the soft quivering underbelly beneath all that armor? I'll dethrone him! De-bone him! And then boys? oh, boys? we're back in business! All together now:
FLOTSAM, JETSAM & EELS You'll bring the good times back! Resume your wacky fun! Restore the joyful charm Of causing harm To everyone!
URSULA I want to make the merfolk cower Like they did in days of yore Sure, it's sheer abuse of power?
FLOTSAM, JETSAM & EELS So?
URSULA Ain't that what power's for? I want to taste their tears! I want to hear their screams! I want the special rush You get from crushing Hopes and dreams!
FLOTSAM, JETSAM & EELS It's more than simply sentimental?
Ursula It's an aphrodisiac!
FLOTSAM, JETSAM & EELS Remember those good times!
URSULA Oh god! Were they good times!
FLOTSAM, JETSAM & EELS It's time for more good times!
URSULA Let's get them back! If only I had a way To make him pay I'd set ol' Triton straight!
FLOTSAM Poison?
JETSAM Sure?
FLOTSAM Blackmail?
JETSAM Or?
FLOTSAM His daughters?
JETSAM Maybe?
URSULA Wait! Why didn't we think of it before? His youngest!
FLOTSAM The one with the beautiful voice?
URSULA Which she takes for granted. A woman doesn't know how precious her voice is until she's been silenced. Ha! Perhaps we could teach them both a lesson? I want the little girl!
FLOTSAM Ooh.
URSULA And boys, I want her bad!
JETSAM Ahh.
URSULA I want her sitting here To lure her dear Devoted dad!
FLOTSAM & JETSAM Mmmm.
URSULA I want my goody-goody brother To come rescue her ? the sap! And then one way or another?
FLOTSAM & JETSAM Surprise!
URSULA I'll spring the trap! And get the good times back! I mean with all the perks! The trident, crown, the throne? All mine alone! The whole damn works! But most of all, I want ol' Triton Pinned and wriggling on the rack Then, fellas, it's my time! And frankly, it's high time! Those fabulous good times... They're coming back!