CORNY: And now, live, from the certified up-to-code Baltimore Eventorium... for the first time ever on nationwide television... It's The Corny Collins Spectacular...
GIRLS: He's Corny!!
CORNY: ...brought to you by Ultra Clutch Hairspray!
What gives a girl Power and punch? Is it charm, is it poise? No, it's hairspray!
What gets a gal Asked out to lunch Is it brains, is it dough? No, it's hairspray!
If you take a ride With no can at your side Then your flip will be gone With the wind
But if you spray it and lock it, You can take off in a rocket And in outer space Each hair will be in place
Why take a chance When you get up and dance If you twist, I insist You use hairspray
And tell your mother Her head she should smother With «ultra-clutch» faithfully
So if you're a redhead, A blonde or brunette Just take my advice And you might just get The only thing better than hairspray
CORNY: That's me!
Forget the milkman The only thing better than hairspray
ENSEMBLE: Hairspray! Wow!
CORNY: That's me!
CORNY & ENSEMBLE: What makes a man Reach out and touch? Ultra clutch!
So if you're a redhead, A blonde or brunette Just take my advice And you might just get
CORNY: The only thing better than hairspray That's me!
GIRLS: He's Corny Collins!
CORNY: The only thing better than hairspray
ENSEMBLE: Hairspray! Wow!
CORNY: That's me!
Hey, baby, you look like you could use a stiff one!