H. CHANDLER: Are we gonna have a problem? You got a bone to pick? You’ve come so far, Why now are you pulling on my dick? I’d normally slap your face off, And everyone here could watch. But I’m feeling nice. Here’s some advice. Listen up, biotch!
H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA: I like!
H. CHANDLER: Lookin’ hot Buying stuff they cannot
H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA: I like!
H. CHANDLER: Drinkin’ hard Maxin’ Dad’s credit card
H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA: I like!
H. CHANDLER: Skippin’ gym Scaring her Screwing him
H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA: I like!
H. CHANDLER: Killer clothes
HEATHERS: Kickin’ nerds in the nose!
H. CHANDLER: If you lack the balls You can go play dolls Let your mommy fix you a snack
H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA: Woah!
H. CHANDLER: Or you could come smoke Pound some rum and coke In my Porsha with the quarterback
HEATHERS: Woah! Woah! Woah! Honey, whatchu waitin’ for? Welcome to my candy store It’s time for you to prove You’re not a loser anymore Then step into my candy store
H. CHANDLER & H. MCNAMARA: Guys fall
H. DUKE: At your feet Pay the check
H. MCNAMARA: Help you cheat
HEATHERS: All you
H. DUKE: Have to do
H. CHANDLER: Say goodbye to Shamoo
HEATHERS: That freak’s
H. MCNAMARA: Not your friend I can tell in the end
HEATHERS: If she
H. MCNAMARA: Had your shot
HEATHERS: She would leave you to rot
H. MCNAMARA: ‘Course if you don’t care Fine! Go braid her hair Maybe Sesame Street is on
HEATHERS: Woah!
H. MCNAMARA: Or forget the creep
H. DUKE: And get in my jeep
H. CHANDLER: Let’s go tear up someone’s lawn
HEATHERS: Woah! Woah! Woah! Honey, whatchu waitin’ for? Welcome to my candy store You just gotta prove You’re not a pussy anymore Then step into my candy store
H. CHANDLER: You can join the team
H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA: Or you can bitch and moan
H. CHANDLER: You can live the dream
H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA: Or you can die alone
H. CHANDLER: You can fly with eagles
HEATHERS: Or if you prefer
H. CHANDLER: Keep on testing me
H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA: And end up like her!
MARTHA: Veronica, look! Ram invited me to his homecoming party. This proves he’s been thinking about me.
VERONICA: Color me stoked.
MARTHA: I’m so happy!
HEATHERS: Woah!
H. DUKE: Honey, whachu waiting fo—
H. CHANDLER: H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA: Step into my candy store! Time for you to prove Oooh woah! Woah oh oh! You’re not a lame ass anymore Then step into my candy store
HEATHERS: It’s my candy store It’s my candy It’s my candy store It’s my candy It’s my candy store