Patrick Berg - If you want to become a psychophysiologist... | Текст песни

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• Patrick Berg
• If you want to become a psychophysiologist...

If you want to become a psychophysiologist, this is what you have to do:
Before you give up and resign
a study you must first design
you must balance each condition
so to understand cognition
stimuli in fast succession
paradigm at your discretion
Find a subject, pay him fair
chain him to the dentist's chair
thick gel, stick well
electrodes on the head, gal
suck the signals from his brain
measure him again and again
Grey brain, white brain
left brain, right brain
split brain, fit brain
I'm in the shit brain
Peabrain, flea brain
thick brain, sick brain
super brain, water brain
this is driving me insane
Stimulate, activate
100 Hz sampling rate
average your waveform
do a Wood McCarthy norm
be a freak, seek the peak
take a break and have a leak
Eyeblink in sync
covers up the missing link
reject it, correct it
otherwise neglect it
Correlate, investigate
never not be up-to-date
follow-up, write it up
replicate and don't be late
Peabrain, flea brain
thick brain, sick brain
super brain, water brain
this is driving me insane
Grey brain, white brain
left brain, right brain
split brain, fit brain
I'm in the shit brain
EEG, ERP
P3 and CNV
FFT and CSD
less for you and more for me
P-I-N-V
stop off for a cup of tea
Poster, lecture
conference, conjecture...
if you’re going to a conference, please practise your English::
The pain in the brain comes mainly from the sprain
The locus of the focus is the ulcus in the sulcus
The pain in the brain comes mainly from the sprain
The locus of the focus is the ulcus in the sulcus
This is what you do at conferences:
First think, then take a deep breath:
Congregate, communicate
illuminate, pontificate
intimidate and ruminate
elaborate, gesticulate
vociferate, exaggerate
reiterate and postulate
substantiate and educate
negotiate, congratulate
and in the break:
Masticate, intoxicate
I bet you ate glutamate
exhilarate and titillate
violate the intimate
adulterate and copulate
fornicate, recuperate
then back to work:
Cooperate, evaluate
associate, infuriate
affiliate, insinuate
repudiate and contemplate
Assimilate, interrogate
consolidate, collaborate
calculate and understate
expostulate in hot debate
Tit brain, bit brain
bat brain, fat brain
floppy brain, soppy brain
singing in the rain brain
Lame brain, tame brain
think brain, shrink brain
Cupid brain, stupid brain
come and join the brain drain
and don't forget the dipoles:
ASA, BESA
analyse a seizure
it's a doddle with this model
guaranteed to please yer
Localize the dipole source
analyse its time course
put in in the MRI
don't stop to wonder why
Grey matter, white matter
former, latter, does it matter?
think it's in the limbic tract
or is it just an artifact?
Shift it up a little higher
see how all those neurons fire
move the dipole to the right
work on it throughout the night
get the data down to size
you're ready for the Nobel Prize!
Lame brain, tame brain
think brain, shrink brain
Cupid brain, stupid brain
come and join the brain drain
Tit brain, bit brain
bat brain, fat brain
floppy brain, soppy brain
singing in the rain brain
Grey brain, white brain
left brain, right brain
split brain, fit brain
I'm in the shit brain
Peabrain, flea brain
thick brain, sick brain
super brain, water brain
this is driving me insane
Now we've come a long way
So that is all I have to say

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