Гуру ПесенPeriphery - All I Want For Christmas is You | Текст песни
SINGER: "Oh yeah that's so right, it's so awesome."
DRUMMER: "Oh yeah, tell me about that ****."
SINGER: "Oh yeah it's got like all these strings and everything. Well you know what? As a matter of fact ima play you a song. It's about last christmas and it all began with the christmas tree selection."
SEE MAN I GOT THESE ALLERGIES RIGHT NOW, I WAS TRYING TO TELL MY GIRLFRIEND 'WHY DON'T WE GET AN ARTIFICIAL TREE THIS CHRISTMAS CAUSE THEY'RE ULTRA COOL AND THEY WON'T MAKE A SMELL LIKE AN ELF FOREST THAT WILL DRIVE ME ****ING INSANE, AND THEY'RE EASY TO ASSEMBLE' AND THEY LAST FOR LIKE FOREVER OR SOMETHING AND SHE WAS LIKE 'NO NO NO WE NEED TO GET A REAL CHRISTMAS TREE' BECAUSE OF THE SPIRIT OF THE SEASON AND ALL THIS BULL****, YULETIDE AND BOUGHS OF HOLLY AND EVERYTHING, AND I WAS LIKE 'WELL I DON'T HAVE TIME TO GO TO TARGET OR WALLMART IN ORDER TO MAKE AN ORDERLY PURCHASE' SO I JUST FIGURED '****ING RIGHT' SO ANYWAYS WE JUST WENT AND PICKED OUT A TREE AND I WAS LIKE 'we're going to get a real christmas tree'
SO ANYWAYS I WAS CARRYING THIS MOTHER****ER TO MY CAR AND IT WAS GETTING SAP ALL OVER MY JACKET AND THE SMELL WAS DRIVING ME ****ING INSANE AND I COULDN'T TAKE IT BUT MAYBE I'M THINKING 'MAYBE I SHOULD JUST CHILL OUT, IT IS CHRISTMAS AFTER ALL' SO I LOOKED AT MY GIRLFRIEND, I SAID 'BABY, BABY, WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR CHRISTMAS?' AND SHE LOOKED AT ME WITH THOSE INNOCENT EYES, EYES AS INNOCENT AS A CHILD PORN ACTRESS OR SOME ****, AND SHE SAID THE NAME OF SOME ****ING PERFUME BY SOME FRENCH GUY AND SHE COULDN'T EVEN PRONOUNCE IT RIGHT, SO I WENT OVER TO THE FREAKING PERFUME SHOP AND I WALKED IN AND THE SMELL, IT JUST ****ING OVERPOWERED ME FROM MY ALREADY CHAPPED NOSE, IT WAS SO COLD AND ON TOP OF THAT I WAS SMELLING THE ****ING CHRISTMAS TREE ALL THE WAY ON THE RIDE HOME, AND I ASKED HER, I WAS LIKE 'DO YOU HAVE THIS PERFUME BY THIS FRENCH GUY? I THINK HE'S GAY OR SOME ****' AND SHE WAS LIKE 'OH YES, YES WE HAVE THAT RIGHT OVER HERE' I WAS LIKE 'YOU GOTTA BE ****ING KIDDING ME, IT'S LIKE FRENCH AND GAY AND YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT I WANT' AND SHE HANDED IT TO ME AND I BOUGHT IT, IT WAS LIKE, A HUNDRED AND ****ING EIGHTY DOLLARS OR SOME ****, BUT I GOT IT BECAUSE I LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND. AND THEN I WENT HOME AND I WRAPPED IT AND I PUT IT UNDERNEATH THE CHRISTMAS TREE AND MY GIRLFRIEND CAME TO ME AND SHE WAS LIKE 'BABY, LET'S GO TO MIDNIGHT MASS' IT'S LIKE 'HONEY, COME ON MAN, I'M SORRY, I DON'T FEEL LIKE DOING THAT CRAZY ****' BUT IT WAS THE CHRISTMAS SEASON SO I WENT, AND WE WENT THERE AND I WAS FALLING ASLEEP IN CHURCH SO I FELT BAD, SO I HAD SOME COFFEE. WHO THE **** HAS COFFEE AT MIDNIGHT?? I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT ****. I'M GOING TO WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND MY COLON IS GOING TO FALL OUT OF MY ASS. WELL I DID IT BABY ALL FOR YOU, I STAYED WIDE AWAKE AND WE WENT HOME AND BEFORE I KNEW IT, IT WAS CHRISTMAS.
SO YOUR PARENTS CAME OVER, IT'S KINDA ****ED UP BECAUSE THEY'RE SO COOL, LIKE YOUR MOM'S SUPER HOT WITH THE PLATINUM BLONDE HAIR AND I'M SURE THOSE TITS ARE FAKE AND YOUR DAD SAID WE HAD TO SMOKE A JOINT LAST THANKSGIVING. AND THEN YOU'RE JUST SUCH A *****, YOU'VE GOT YOUR CHRISTMAS GIFT, YOU'RE SPRAYING LIKE SIX DOSES ON YOUR NECK AND IT MADE ME ****ING SICK AND THEN BEFORE WE COULD DO ANYTHING ELSE, LIKE JUST, THE DOORBELL RANG AND I OPENED UP THE DOOR AND THERE WAS LIKE THIS LITTLE AUTISTIC KID, IT'S LIKE 'WHAT DO YOU WANT??!' AND HE SAID:
"Hello, I'm going to sing you a song"
Dashing through the snow
On a one horse open sleigh
Over the fields we go
Laughing all the way h0h0h0
Bells on bob tails ring
Making spirits bright
Please sir, my mom's on crack and she'll beat my ass if I don't make money tonight
MAN YO
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