Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I know you're probably expecting some tragic backstory to explain why I want to reverse the rotation of the Earth. But I'm not gonna go there, ya know, I...well, I'll tell ya! Back in Gimmelshtump, I always had to keep it real! 'Cause when you grow up in Gimmelshtump, Young Heinz: Your childhood is less than ideal!
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: So, I don't dwell on how I crawled my way out of the gutter! No, I don't! When people ask me what I mean, I say, "D-D-D-Do I stutter?"
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: But I'm no longer a hater, 'Cause I got an Inator And an over-complicated scheme. I get a couple of checks Every month from my ex, So I can finance my coming regime!
And though my past was a wreck, I won't let it affect My aspirations to cause mass hysteria, 'Cause I'm as sure as can be That it's my destiny To be the ruler of the Tri-State Area!