You know I've got an ugly twin He looks just like me, he's got a stupid grin He always follows me, he knows where I've been When he's around you know I just can't win I've got a nasty twin Follows me to town on his stupid Schwinn He looks just like me, he's got a stupid grin Yeah I think he knows, he's my ugly twin He's my ugly twin My ugly twin - how does that make you feel? I'm sure mad at my ugly twin - and he sure knows it too I just don't know why I always feel so black and blue Every time he comes around, I don't know what to do My ugly twin - he just doesn't like you, or me, or anyone He's my ugly twin Oh, oh, oh, my ugly twin Can't win, and I can't play on the same field as him He's always in the car with me, and writing my name on the wall He thinks he's so hot, but he's not, I know he's not One day he blamed me when they caught him with pot But it wasn't me, and he likes all the same teams as me No it's not fair, but I don't care It's not fair but I don't care