I know it’s near the knuckle But I can tell when I see a real man When it comes to reality I’ve only just began You’ve got a grasp of the real situation I just blunder about in a close Approximation You know a lot of people your always drinking with your friends you know a lot of people when you’ve got a lot to spend
I’m not a real woman I don’t nod my head And patiently wait For your favours in bed I don’t wear lace panties At waist away prices Or bondage and scanties At masochist dances I’m not a real woman I don’t waggle my hips Or flap my eye lids Or shapple my lips And I’m not a lemon So please don’t squezze out my pips Im not a real woman I don’t aim to please Or twinkle my knickers Or garter my knees The nails on my fingers Are tattered and torn I have had dirty fingers Since the day I was born Im not a real woman I’m not a real woman I don’t nod my head And patiently wait For your favours in bed And i'm not a lemon So squeeze your own instead
I’m generous I’m mean I’m a law onto myself And I just laugh at everything you say Don’t be surprised If I don’t look into your eyes My eyes are on a million miles away I’m not a real woman I won’t cook your food I’m not on page 3 Drinking gin in the nude I’m board by your laundry And board by your jokes Why don’t you save them to tell other blokes I don’t need no favours I don’t need no please I don’t need no bozo To tickle my knees And I’m no lamb chop So don’t fork my peas
I’m generous I’m mean I’m a law onto myself And I just laugh at everything you say Don’t be surprised If I don’t look into your eyes My eyes are on a million miles away I’m not a real woman I don’t look divine I only like children some of the time And just like a man must be well hung To be a real woman You have to be young Hey your not so macho By the look of that bunch You can save your bananas To eat with your lunch Im not a real woman I won’t cook your food And I only want sex When im in the mood