** LYRICS ** ANNOUNCER: Princess Rap Battle: Galadriel versus Leia! Let the rap battle begin!
GALADRIEL: One does not simply walk into this fight I’m the baddest bitch in Middle Earth, the Lady of Light I look better in white, you should flee from my sight I’ll strike you down like Obi-Wan cause I’m colder than carbonite You battle me? You’re not strong enough A human break an elf? You don’t live long enough You better listen hard through those donuts in your hair By the time I end this line you will love me and despair
LEIA: Calm down grandma, you’re ugly when you’re mad Showing off your dark side? You remind me of my dad What a strong female character obsessed with a ring And you had to send a group of men to fix everything When Sauron took over you hid in a tree I led the Rebel Alliance and we saved the whole galaxy When I am done with you you will be nothing but a crater My words explode like bombs, I’m a verbal detonator
GALADRIEL: What have your films had, like thirteen re-edits? LEIA: Well, most of your runtime is spent on the credits We’re on movie number seven while you’re still on your sixth GALADRIEL: Yes, but unlike you we don’t pretend that three don’t exist
LEIA: You’re like a Stormtrooper cuz your shots never hit I wore one gold bikini and the world lost its shit I’ll rap faster, outlast her, outclass her, surpass her I’m a master with a blaster, you’re a renn faire disaster I walk in the sky while you’re stuck on the land Just a hippie hobbit-humper, unblinking and bland No light saber needed to take you out Search your feelings, you will forfeit this bout
GALADRIEL: I will… Never give in to your Jedi mind, trick And after Jabba’s eager tongue you should know when you’re licked My lyrics so wet I’m like a rhyming typhoon How’s Alderaan doing? Sorry, too soon? I see things that were, things that are, things that may be I’m fully operational, it’s over, baby You shall not pass, challenge another You can kiss my ass, pretend it’s your brother