[Verse 1] In December of ‘81 way before rhyme was relevant A child was born during a winter storm to Evaline My pops was Eddie, I don’t really think he was ready The nigga left me damn near as I came out the belly From what they tell me from day one I have always been heavy Not weight wise, they say I have been here already I’m starting to believe em, sparking my weed And I’m coughing and wheezing, I talk with demons Ghosts are real, I swear to God I see em In the back of my mind I travel back and through time When I was nine and I would practice this rhyme But my step-pops said stop or get your head popped If I did not I swear ahk he’d put me in headlocks My feet dangling, just kicking his thighs He’s six two, I’m three five, eye to eye we meet high See I got pain bottled up so deep And so much stress it’s like my first CD on repeat Number nine when I rhyme and these herbs see me Up on stage with artists raised they’re like hey look at Reef Then I’m okay but when I lay at the end of the day I’m dealing with grown men issues and I’m still underage Underpaid and overworked, I feel like I’m worthless I kept these facts under wrap but now I pull back the curtains Till my situation reverses these verses will serve the purpose of Cleansing my soul until it’s dirtless yo [Chorus] You don’t know what it’s like to be me (This is my life) And y’all swear I got it so easy (This is my life) But you don’t know the half, believe me The pain in my heart exceeds me, ask my nigga Sleepy (This is my life) So much stress, ain’t nothing changed dawg (This is my life) So I get high until my brain’s gone (This is my life) Until the pain’s gone, the same song that plays on In my head making my days long (This is my life) [Verse 2] I stare at these questions, my rhymes are my homework comparing these lessons Preparing for my weekly therapy sessions Aggression and anger combined with a weak mind, that’s danger The eyes of a painter trying to paint the eyes of a stranger That’s why it’s hard for me to open my heart When those I let in have just stepped in it And broken my heart, not just women But those who claimed to be my niggas too Those fake father figure dudes, I figured you would try to reach me Eventually you try and leave me but why did you leave me? The only question to you I pose, I’m okay though I’m still alive, trying to survive in this Holocaust maze Spend my days in a daze wanting to fly away It’s hard to stay focused when these jokers in your face Just to get paid but yet my pockets is still flat My knowledge is still intact but as years go by dawg I feel that I’ll never make it, record execs like, “You’re not good enough.” Kid face it, the next stop hip hop sanctum My mother’s basement remembering the good old days I can’t take it, the possibility I never sign a deal It didn’t matter now I’m getting older, it’s getting colder I need a shield or career, year or two I have to be noticed The greatest rapper since the other two were massacred, at least they were famous I’m popular to you but everywhere else I’m nameless I guess that’s how the game is, the older I get the younger I wish I still was No longer deal drugs but still get high to feel love I’m real buzzed for a minute then it begins to escape me These demons I pushed behind are forcing themselves to face me Maybe I’m crazy, nah I think I’m too sane for my own good I know I zone hoods to find what makes me spit like this And tick like that and I flip like that and if I fall I get right back On the right track until I’m dead gone But the only tracks I follow are the ones in my headphones, yo [Chorus] [Verse 3] This nine-to-five grind got my mind losing its juices Come inside and you’ll find that even though I’m popular and I know how to rhyme Everything ain’t what it seems, I just know how to lie