Miss Marry Ann Kept her man In porcupine gloves, in porcupine gloves And on that day As scheduled They made porcupine love, porcupine love
So stiff and stuck and prickly He came in and then back out quickly But lord not any quicker than according to plan Like a soldier, one foot in front of the other
Miss Marry Ann Had a man Named Stan, Stan Buttler He had no antlers He had no center He had no enter and he had no exit
His hair was short and prickly He came in and then back out quickly But lord not any quicker than according to plan Like a soldier, one foot in front of the other
And how he loved her apple pies, How he loved her meat loaf, How he loved her chicken breasts, How he loved her pudding, Served promptly at eight o'clock, Served promptly at seven Served promptly at ten o'clock, And promptly at eleven heaven
Miss Marry Ann Kept her cans In alphabetical order Miss Marry Ann Began to have Some thoughts of murder
Miss Marry Ann Started to think Real hard about her future Miss Marry Ann Preferred her meat To be freshly butchered
Oh she killed him rather quickly Man that woman was truly sickly But lord not any sicker than according to plan Like a soldier, one foot in front of the other
And how he loved her apple pies, How he loved her meat loaf, How he loved her chicken breasts, How he loved her pudding, Served promptly at eight o'clock, Served promptly at seven Served promptly at ten o'clock, And promptly at eleven heaven
Miss Marry Ann Kept her man In porcupine gloves, in porcupine gloves And on that day As scheduled They made porcupine love, Porcupine lo-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-apchu!