first off, i want to tell you I enjoyed the pizza well, it really wasn't great, but it allowed me to meetcha I'd like your number- but I'm not gonna leave a big tip to get it That means he's cheap and pathetic and if you date him you'll regret it 23 percent from me communicates I'm generous; not desperate. And I can calculate. Is she supposed to be impressed? Well, if you wanna battle be my guest... i'm a computer programmer and a cubical dweller I disabled spellcheck 'cause I'm a stellar speller When I write an email that includes an attachment I never hit "send"before I've attached it. Your job is a bore; I keep it hardcore Selling knives and insurance from door to door. You're reflecting on a water cooler conversation I'm giving an incredible knife demonstration May I interest you in some accidental death coverage or a bagel slicer? I can change your computer wallpaper to a tropical beach scene. Bagel slicer. I carpool, ‘cause I’m environmentally sensitive, I pack a snorkel, cause I'm clever and so inventitive. It’s inventive. Inventitive isn’t a word. Yeah it, I just inventi-ted it; you just got served. Well, when I carpool, I take a group of third graders. On my way to work, I teach them multiplication tables. See, I’m a role model, an example to the youth. Then why did this kid just tell me that 1 X 1 = 2? At the gym, people line up just to gimme a spot All eyes on me when i'm popping a squat My career plan B is to teach P.E. The model on the machine...he's based on me . I've mastered the art of mental manip-ulation Workin' every muscle group through meditation This is me working out my triceps Pick up my dvd called Mind Reps My sense of style is sweet like syrup. It's not uncommon for people to think I'm from Europe. I don’t follow the trendssI'm a style pioneer. See this turtle neck with a necklace? You'll be wearing this next year. I see buttons, I push em--just to see what they do, and if something were to go wrong, I'd just blame it on you. I’m quick-witted, always know just what to say. Then say something clever. Uh.... Okay. I was offered a record deal while singing at a karaoke bar but i turned it down and became the President's karaoke czar I rescued a dolphin entangled in a tuna net and donated it to an orphanage to keep as a pet I gave the Heimlich to a horse choking on beef jerky two hours later, he won the Kentucky Derby I'm allergic to nothing. I'm allergic to weakness. I embrace my weaknesses and call them unique-nesses. I can drive a stickshift / (well ) I can golf Well, I can make it look like my thumb is coming off I invented the half nelson/ I invented the full nelson I've got a signed picture of Boris Yeltsin My uncle is a lawyer / I roll my own sushi I use the metric system exclusively. I know Morse Code Well I can speak it (does morse code sounds) You just said that "the square root of raspberry should be legalized"..? Exactly
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