Old Uncle Judd had troubles of his own. He had a scruffy yellow tom that wouldn't leave home. He went to church one Sunday, one Sunday for advice. The preacher said, "Leave him here, 't'would be so very nice."
CHORUS: But the cat came back, the cat came back. Thought he was a goner, but the cat came back. He just couldn't stay away.
He gave him to a man going up in a balloon' And asked the chap to leave him with the Man in the Moon. Well, the balloon it must have busted; well, that's what everybody said. 'Cause ten miles away they picked the man up dead.
CHORUS:
Old Uncle Judd swore he'd kill the cat on sight. He loaded up his blunderbuss with nails & dynamite. He aimed it at the spot where the tomcat would appear. All they ever found was Uncle Judd's left ear... [SPOPKEN:] "Uh, where did they find it?" "Well, it was just left 'ere."
CHORUS:
He broke into the house, ate everything in sight; While outside this Irish fella was looking for a fight. The cat all smiles sat fat & fully fed. The fella sang "Rule, Brittania" and the cat dropped dead.