Rowlf: Evenin'...you look like you could use a drink. Kermit: Yeah, I'd like a grasshopper please. Rowlf: Hey, can we have a grasshopper for the frog? Kermit: Uh, that's, that's Kermit...Kermit the Frog. Rowlf: Oh...Rowlf, Rowlf the dog here. Pleased to meet ya. I'm no Heifetz, but I get by.
(plays piano)
Rowlf: Let me guess. Broken heart, right? Kermit: Huh, does it show? Rowlf: Listen, when you've been tickling the ivories as long as I have, you've seen a broken heart for everydrop of rain, a shattered dream for every falling star. Kermit: Exactly. She just walked out on me. Rowlf: Yeah, typical. That's why I live alone. Kermit: You do, huh? Rowlf: You bet. I finish work, I go home, read a book, have a couple of beers, take myself for a walk, and go to bed. Kermit: Nice and simple. Rowlf: Stay away from women, that's my motto. Kermit: But I can't. Rowlf: Neither can I, that's my trouble.
Rowlf: You can't live with 'em, you can't live without 'em. There's somethin' irresistible-ish about 'em. We grin and bear it 'cause the nights are long. I hope that somethin' better comes along.
Kermit: I see what you mean. It's no good complainin' and pointless to holler.
Rowlf: If she's a beauty she'll get under your collar.
Kermit: She made a monkey out of old King Kong,
Both: I hope that somethin' better comes along.
Rowlf: Ah, but what could be better than a saucy Irish setter When puppy love comes on strong? Or a collie that's classy, a laddie needs a lassie, A lover and wife gives you a new leash on life.
Kermit: Uh, was that a new leash on life?
Rowlf: Oh yeah, sorry about that...2, 3, 4
Kermit: I don't mean to scare ya, my friend, but I betcha Come "Father's Day", the litter bug's gonna getcha;
Rowlf: The urge is righteous, but the face is wrong.
Both: I hope that somethin' better comes along.
Kermit: Still, it's fun when they're fetching, And agree to see an etching That you keep at your lily pad. There is no solution, it's part of evolution, Rowlf: The pitter patter of soles The little feet of tadpoles.
Kermit: Uh, Rowlf, tadpoles don't have feet.
Rowlf: Oh. Sorry about that...2, 3, 4
Kermit: There's no limitation to mixin' and matchin'.
Rowlf: Some get an itchin' for a critter they've been scratchin'. A skunk was badgered the results were strong. I hope that somethin' better,
Kermit: I hope that somethin' better,
Both: I hope that somethin' better comes along.
Rowlf: It's not often you see a guy that green that has the blues that bad.