It was a fine left coast morning And I found myself planted outside The Cap 'N' Cork Tipping back the hops In order to calm my dancing hands You see I usually don't play The tied-up watchdog routine Looking up and down the street But this is the corner Joey A., my car and I Were supposed to meet
You see Joey The Amateur and I Were out clinkin' glasses last night When I got three sheets to an I'll wind Myself being in possession Of a fine Double 5 Lincoln convert Joey offered to skip me back to the crib I awoke to a barren driveway And a neighbor started to chide "Joey dumped you off, And he's got your ride!"
Black cats, they don't bother me I smile in bad company And I'm cool as the day is long But takin' my car, daddy That's dead wrong
It was now 11:22 And up scuffles Benny The Shoe A real hot air merchant from way back I inquired about Joey A. And my superfine Lincoln Then Mr. B.S. beat his gums And testified to me, "Joe's washing the short, Changing da oil He'll be here by three."
So the little hand hits three And who should appear But a Cuban cat named Geronimo An upstanding cat In the textile business
He said, "Joey knocked over a racketman And is laying low for a few, But in your trunk he left you some treasure A pint of rye and a case of Slim Jim's For your masticating pleasure
Now ten p.m. finds me Hot as a hophead's zippo When Rosie appears On her financially motivated Nightly exercise routine I asked the whereabouts Of the horsepower thief in question And she shot me that amphetamine stare And said, "Joey A.? I just got out of his Lincoln On Hollywood Way."
I thought "Kill Joey A.!" when the bar keep came out To simmer my slow boil He said, "Joey A. just called on the blower, He said you better skip town, 'Cause the cops got your ride. You're wanted for solicitation, Possession -- you owe him one, And here's the scather." He said, "And another thing cat, Don't ask me for Goddamn favors!"