I’m in love with a bathroom I don’t know yet whether it’s love Or just some kind of attraction But that Bathroom is reviving feelings in me I didn’t think existed anymore I’m still involved in a deep relationship With a telephone Though I think it may be leaving me We still share the same bed but can’t speak anymore Sometimes I talk to it so softly in the middle of the night I wouldn’t want to be brutal and wake it up I say calm and sweet words But nothing happens Not a movement, not a sound, nothing My nerves are shot So I pick it up and I hope to hear a voice I want to capture again the passion we had But the only word I hear over and over is Beeeeep, beeeeep, beeeeep I howl my disappointment to the moon This silence kills me, gets me, drives me crazy What’s the point of talking to a phone if it can never ever answer? Then to my surprise, out of nowhere Bathroom came into my life This Bathroom’s a little wild, keeps its door shut But kinda likes my voice Wants me to speak, wants me to breathe, wants me to sing songs Like I said, these feelings are rumbling inside me And it’s a little strange to be in love with a Bathroom I’m not sure, I gotta talk to my buddy about that He’s a good guy, he’s always got good advice Let me introduce my buddy, Joe Piano Best shrink in town