If they could see me now That little gang of mine I'm eatin' fancy chow and drinkin' fancy wine I'd like those stumble bums To see for a fact The kind of top-drawer, first-rate chums I attract All I can say is "Wow-ee!" Look-a where I am Tonight I landed, POW! Right in a pot of jam What a setup, holy cow! They'd never believe it If my friends could see me now!
If they could see me now My little dusty group Traipsin' round this million dollar chicken coop I'd hear those thrift shop cats say, "Brother get her! Draped on a bedspread made from three kinds of fur!" All I can say is "Wow!" Wait till the riff and raff See just exactly how He signed his autograph What a build up, holy cow! They'd never believe it If my friends could see me now!
If they could see me now Alone with Mr. V Who's waitin' on me like he was a maitre'd I hear my buddies sayin', "Crazy, what gives? Tonight she's living like the other half lives!" To think the highest brow Which I must say is he Should pick the lowest brow Which there's no doubt is me What a step up, holy cow! They'd never believe it If my friends could see me now!
They'd never believe it! They'd never believe it! If my friends could see me now! Hi girls, it's me! Charity!