When we’re together, I feel so grand. My heart goes tippity-tap-tap-tap When I hold your hand. But I know there’s another guy You fancy more, So even though I’m not the one you adore, Why not Settle for me?
Darling, just settle for me. I think you’ll have to agree We make quite a pair! I know I’m only second place in this game But like 2% milk Or Seitan Beef I almost taste the same! So won’t you settle for me? Come on and settle for me! Say yes or no Before I choke on all this swallowed pride! I have no problem being picked Out from the bottom, If he’s your broken condom, I’m Plan B, So lower those expectations And settle for me. Am I ok with this? Totally!
(Oh sweet, a gown!) Settle for me. Babycakes just settle for me. Schmoopy pie, I’m begging you please Can’t you see the light? Sugar jugs, I’m so bereft Demeaning terms are all that I have left Ofmy masculinity, So settle for me!
(So twirly!) Little girl, don’t make me feel like a little girl, Exposed and raw, Whose boobs can’t even fill a training bra. Let’s pretend I didn’t say that! Settle for me. (It’s a practical proposal!) Settle for me. (It makes a certain sense!) He’s a fantasy, But hey, Let’s think this through. Yes, Josh is a dream, But I’m right here In flesh and blood and self-hate. Settle for me! In a sad way, darling, it’s fate.
—tapping—
(You’re like Rocky 5 to Rocky) Solange to Beyonce, Not asking to be your fiancé, But if tonight -or tomorrow- If you happen to be free, Maybe, Just maybe Settle for me! So what’ll it be? Can you hurry up and decide, A dip’s kind of supposed to be a quick thing? (Uh…)
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