Sarah Kay: It started with a sweater. Phil Kaye: I was looking fly. First day of college orientation as a freshman… plus, I’m the type of guy who’s always trying to make a good impression. Sarah: He looked like a tool. And it’s the first week of school, so I’ve got people to meet and things to try. I don’t have time to waste on this guy loitering backstage at a talent show. Phil: It started with a freshman talent show, a chance to showcase what I know about spoken word and poetry and try and get some people to notice me. Sarah: It started with a technical difficulty - Phil: some sort of delay - Sarah: somebody’s iPod track wouldn’t play. Phil: So I’m stuck waiting backstage when I notice this girl - Sarah: and he walks over, stupid sweater and all. There was nowhere to run, backstage was too small. Phil: And I’m so nervous about going onstage, I decide to strike up a conversation. Sarah: Oh, sorry, I completely got ahead of myself. I totally skipped introductions. My name is Sarah Kay. Phil: My name is Phil Kaye. I’m from California - Sarah: born and raised in NYC. Phil: Let’s see, fun fact about me - Both: My mom is Japanese and my dad is Jewish. Sarah: Not a common combination, but I think it’s kinda cute. People call me Japajew - Phil: Jewpanese - Sarah: Ashkenazi kamikaze. Phil: And come December - Both: Hanukkah and Christmas! Sarah: Plus, you should taste my mother’s brisket. Jan has matzah ball soup with noodles…brings my father Jeffrey to his knees. Phil: It took mom and dad to raise this lanky, cock-eyed, half-breed. Sarah: Well, I think that’s it. My mom, my dad, and me - oh, plus my little brother. He’s eighteen. Phil: My little sister is a deadpan firecracker. She’s only eighteen, but she keeps me on track. Part of her name is Sarah. Sarah: My little brother’s name is Phillip. Both: Anyway- Sarah: Where was I? Phil: It started with a backstage interaction. Sarah: No, it started with a backward first impression. Phil: Okay, well, I’ll tell you where it didn’t start. It didn’t start at fifth grade summer camp. Sarah: That’s true, it did not start at junior lifeguards. Even though we were both there. Phil: Matching red bathing suits, white t-shirts, visors, and our counsellor - Both: Mr. Johnson. Sarah: Who probably figured that the shy girl in his morning class - Phil: and the skinny kid in his afternoon class - Both: were… cousins?! Sarah: Probably thought we carpooled over together - Phil: in between family photoshoots and fourth of July barbecues. Sarah: But instead, we merely co-existed - Phil: almost met but always missed it - Sarah: spinning around like two sides of a coin. Phil: Look! Both: We’ve done the research! Sarah: And we swear, we’re not related. Phil: And we’ve never dated. Both: And we’re never… EVER… going to. Phil: Because what are the chances of finding someone with your last name - Sarah: Japanese and Jewish with siblings called the same? Phil: What are the odds of finding someone - Sarah: who can finish your sentences - Phil: who will let you cut in line - Sarah: who knows not to just lend a hand, or an ear when you need them to give you their spine - Phil: who is woman enough to be best man at your wedding - Sarah: who will keep every secret, save every letter, tell you how you really look - Phil: who will remember every single one of your birthdays - Sarah: without checking Facebook? Phil: What are the odds of finding someone who knows your poetry by heart - Sarah: who won’t freak out if you’re hanging out and accidentally fart? Phil: Yeah. If you have a date and you need to look fresh, I will let you borrow… my hair products. Sarah: And if you don’t have a date and you need to look fresh, I will let you borrow… my cousin. Phil: I will always see you for the alley-oop. Sarah: I will always save you a seat. Phil: I will always pick you to be my partner even though you are terrible at handball. Sarah: When the fire takes all you have, my home will be your home. Phil: When you are old and can no longer remember my face, I will meet you for the first time again and again. Sarah: When they make fun of your accent, I will take you swimming because we all sound the same underwater. Phil: When Ellis Island tries to erase your past, I will call you by your real name. Sarah: When they call your number for the draft, I will enlist to fight beside you. Phil: And I will march with you from Selma to Montgomery and back as many times as it takes. Sarah: We will stand together against the hoses and the dogs - Both: because it didn’t start with us. Phil: It started with Lennon and McCartney. Sarah: It started with Thelma and Louise. Phil: It started with Winnie-the-Pooh and Christopher Robin. Sarah: Bert and Ernie! Phil: Abbott and Costello! Sarah: Rosencrantz and Guildenstern! Phil: Mario and Luigi! Sarah: Watson and Sherlock! Phil: Pikachu and Charizard! And they could tell you what a miracle this is. Sarah: They could tell you how rare this is. Phil: But they could tell you how rare friendship always is. Sarah: The chances are slim. Phil: The cards are always stacked against you, the odds are always low. Both: But I have seen the best of you, and the worst of you, and I choose both. Phil: I want to share every single one of your sunshines and save some for later. Sarah: I will tuck them into my pockets so I can give them back to you when the rains fall hard. Both: Friend - Phil: I want to be the mirror that reminds you to love yourself Sarah: I want to be air in your lungs that reminds you to breathe easy. Phil: When the walls come down Sarah: when the thunder rumbles - Both: when nobody else is home, hold my hand - Phil: and I promise - Both: I won’t let go.