i keep losing sleep on couches and floors because I hate laying in this bed wishing for so much more than the growing pain that formed in my chest and my head but expected nothing less than a few reassuring words and the sound of bitter resentment in your voice knowing I couldn't do anything more for us because it was always your choice.
It was always your choice and this is the second time you came into my life wanting to build something from the ground up after knocking down my walls and in an expected turn of events you left me out in the open as if i didn't matter to you at all. And now I just want to feel the air in my lungs again and the heart beating in my chest
but that was taken the moment you drove back down south to your home near the beach with a view almost as beautiful as you.
And in the 3 seconds between you letting go of that last kiss and us saying our goodbyes I was ready to believe it would be the last time I'd ever held you. And I was right.
And I heard you felt so sorry but you never told me specifically and all I could use now is an apology but you're too busy lost in his sheets
and what was so wrong with me that I couldn't get you to stay you filled me with joy and I cherished that every day
at least I was able to tell you goodbye this time remember when you promised me that there would never be a last time? well where are you now cause I need you here by my side
I guess everything I wanted to believe so terribly bad was just a lie and everything thing you said that used to make me feel alive just makes me feel dead
I just want to see one of us happy I know youre happier than me