Parker: What's playing at the Roxy? I'll tell you what's playing in the Roxy A picture about a Minnesota man so in love with a Mississippi girl That he sacrifices everything and moves all the way to Balacksy That's what's playing at the Roxy
MacFarlane: What's in the daily news? I'll tell what's in the daily news Story about a guy who bought his wife a small ruby With what otherwise would have been his union dues. That's what's in the daily news
Parker: What's happening all over? I'll tell you what's happening all over Guys sitting at home by the television set who once used to be something of a rover That's what's happening all over
MacFarlane: Love is the thing that has licked 'em
Parker: And it looks like Nathan's just another victim Yes sir! When you see a guy reach for stars in the sky, You can bet that he's doing it for some doll
MacFarlane: When you spot a john waiting out in the rain, Chances are he's insane, as only a john can be for a jane
Parker: When you meet a gent paying all kinds of rent For a flat that could flatten the Taj Mahal
Together: Call it sad, call it funny But it's better than even money That the guy's only doing it for some doll!
MacFarlane: When you see a Joe saving half of his dough You can bet there'll be mink in it for some doll
Parker: When a bum buys wine like a bum can't afford, It's a cinch that the bum is under the thumb of some little broad
MacFarlane: When you meet a mug lately out of the jug, And he's still lifting platinum folderol
Together: Call it hell, call it heaven It's a probable twelve to seven That a guy's only doing it for some doll!
MacFarlane: When you see a sport with his cash running short, You can bet that he's blowing it on some doll
Parker: When a guy wears tails with the front gleaming white, Who the hell do you think he's tickling pink on Saturday night
MacFarlane: When some lazy slob gets a good steady job And he smells of Vitalis and Barbasol
Together: Call it dumb, call it clever Ah but you can get odds forever That a guy's only doing it for some doll, some doll, some doll, A guy's only doing it for some doll!