No sweet and pure angelic lass for me That kinda gal can spin a web, you'll see She trades on wholesome innocence galore But it's my independence that she's trading for
The only affirmative she will file Refers to marching down the aisle No golden, glorious, gleaming pristine goddess, no sir For no Diana do I play faun, I can tell you that right now
I snarl, I hiss How can ignorance be compared with bliss? I spark, I fizz for the lady who knows what time it is I cheer, and I rave for the virtue I'm too late to save The sadder but wiser girl for me
No bright-eyed, blushing, breathless baby doll baby No sir, that kinda child ties knots no sailor ever knew
I prefer to take a chance on a more adult romance No dewy young miss who keeps resisting All the time she keeps insisting No wide-eyed, wholesome, innocent female Why, she's the fisherman, I'm the fish, you'll see
I flinch, I shy when the lass with the delicate air goes by I smile, I grin when the gal with a touch of sin walks in I hope and I pray for Hester to win just one more "A" The sadder but wiser girl for me
No giggling ice cream soda drinker Out to hook you line and sinker No honey throated beckoning siren I plug my ears and I grab my oars and I flee
I jeer, I boo at the Puritan-hearted ingénue I yearn, I long for the woman who's Pop says, "What went wrong?"
I root and I clap for the dame in the gown-less evening strap The sadder but wiser girl's the girl for me The sadder but wiser girl for me