i placed my hands gently beneath her rib bones and traced a map of my favorite places, travelling down the grooves of her spine and finding home in the arch in her back. and i could swear with each and every warm whimper she let out, was a subtle cry of contentment. and my heart was racing, my hands trembling in a sort of "standing up in front of your class for show and tell" sort of way, and i'm sure that i could show, even better than i could tell her about the way the constellations constantly connected us. each star carefully planted, yet so unpredictable like her freckles in the summer. and i love her, and the shootings stars beyond my reach but i'll reach to her, like a child to his mother, wrapped in blankets with my thumb in my mouth and her hair between my fingers, moving like the waves in a tropical storm, uprooting familiarity and introducing me to the warmth of the sun. and i studied the creases of her fingers, and the spots i love to kiss when i get nervous and the rivets in her fingertips, plant fingerprints in the skin tightly wound around my bones, and your fingernails, writing cursive along my forearms documenting words like forever and us, but i would stretch longer than that, an infinite reassembly of our relationship: stopping and starting, and stopping and starting, and pausing for just a few more minutes, then suddenly permanent. i've been uncertain about a lot of things, but i was never uncertain about the persuasion of her lips, sucking the life out of mine and changing my mind, and with time comes growth like vines around trees, and moss above stone, and we'll entwine, cause she's mine and i think about her all the time and maybe that's why. and hell i'll swim my way to her, 300 kilometers by hot air balloon, i'll drive to her. 300 minutes feel like 300 hours, has it been 30 days or 3 or 10? i don't know, is she okay? cause i love her too much to let it all... wait stop, i'll stop talking about it, how was your day? i want to be the ground she walks on, i'll put up with the footprints if it means she's still standing. and i'll be the boat tied to her harbour, and i'll be up or down depending on the tide, but i'll be camping out deep inside her lungs, screaming mine out. and she can have my oxygen, i'll find a temporary fix if she believes in it, and i'll keep it warm down here, i'll light a fire and put the matches out on my tongue. hoping next season comes sooner: autumn, winter, spring, together! and i won't forget her, cause she's mine. i think about her all the time, and maybe that's why. i'm not caught between what i have and what i need anymore, it's all right in front of me, and i don't need to watch the tides to determine my beliefs, cause i'll always love her, even when we're parted by the sea and that's a constant reminder of how happy she makes me. and i'm not too great with words, and sometimes i stumble over more than i can count, and sometimes i wanna tell her how wonderful she is, and how much of an impact she's going to make on the world... and not even just mine! i can't tell if i'm the only one glowing or if everything just seems brighter through my eyes, but she's like the sunshine, she's like my sunshine, she's like everybody's sunshine, but she's mine. and i keep some of it in a jar beside my bed, like a firefly that doesn't burn out and she'll be my guide through the darkness in my life and a night light for when things get a little heavy, and i can smell her on my clothes and it's a beautiful reminder that she's always with me and even when we're worlds apart, i'll still feel her in my pulse when i'm going to sleep. and sometimes that's just how life works. you have to fight for the things that you love, and it's only going to get harder, but it's nights like these, when i'm staring into her quiet comforting eyes that i realize this is where i'm meant to be, this is my home, and i'm never letting go.