I am thirty and I'm wearing A tutu of candy Did I mention that I'm thirty?
I went the Supercuts and asked them to fuck my head up and Look what this bitch did to me! (Ha ha ha girl you dumb!) I used to make a music And dress like a punk, now Looks like a blind stylist dressed me! (Yes, queen, you look great!) This video is fucking racist But it's okay, because I pay these Asian chicks to dance behind me (We want to kill ourselves) This is probably the worst thing I have ever done in my life And I married that Nickelback guy (Ew, ew, gross!)
Did I mention that I'm thirty? Yes, I'm fucking thirty And I'm wearing accessories I got from Claire's I never smiling 'cause on the inside I'm dying Please, take me out of my misery
(No, you have ten more years!)
Now, it's time for dubstep music Made by a fifty year old white guy (Hey, isn't this what's the kids like?) They also like when I butcher Japanese
Jing Jong Wong Jing Dong Dong Ding Dong That means 'Go buy my new song' Ding Ding Wang Wang Ding Ding Ding Chi That means... 'Holy shit, I'm thirty!'
Holy shit, I'm thirty And I am ma-married All enough to have babies Oh my god, I'm fucking thirty! Oh my god, I'm thirty! Oh my god... Oh my god! OH MY GOD!
Midlife breakdown
Look at me, I'm eating suchi I like to make my eyes all Japanesey Jing Jow Jong Chi Dong Chi Dong Chi Sure, you can have my new CD
Hey there Miley, Miley Are you jelly, jelly On my stupid fucking video? I made a checklist of All the stupid stuff You did in yours and I think we're tied
(- The world only needs one stupid crazy talentless whore, and that's me! - Yeah! - Wow! Or I’m really fucking high right now or there is a set of Asian quadruples standing front of me? - Both! - Oh, yeah!)