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Shane Dawson - Story of my life | Текст песни

Laying on my couch watching TV eating Hot Pockets for days
Talking to my dog like she’s human and can understand me
I’m on Twitter all night long trying to get celebrities to follow me
Taking pics for Instagram and photoshoping the shit out of me
(I don’t even look human, perfect)
It’s Friday night and I’m home alone
Constantly looking at my phone
Waiting for a text from one of my friend but no one ever sends

Cause I don’t have a life
I just stay home, have Twerk battles all alone
Sometimes I even hump my bed
(Say my name, Say my name)
Cause I don’t have a life
Or any friends, except the one’s I created on The Sims
Cause I don’t have a life
(No you don’t, No you don’t)

I want 5 pepperoni pizzas with extra cheese
Oh, no I am not having a party, it’s only me
Hey I don’t have a life or any friends
Can you put on this wig and just pretend to be my girlfriend
(Taser gun, Taser gun)

I go on line all night and laugh at pigs at animals or Nick Jonas’ nips
(They’re so fuckin big)
(Pepperoni nips)

Refresh my replies.

I talk to Cleverbot all night
Cause I don’t have a fuckin life.

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