Simon Lipkin & Catherine Tate - Sugar daddy | Текст песни

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• Simon Lipkin & Catherine Tate
• Sugar daddy

Lou Lubowitz & Myrna Ranapapadophilou

L: You’re a girl with hopes and dreams, talent, and panache! You’ve got plans and schemes, but you ain’t got cash. I work with scary men who want to give my head a bash and throw my body in the trash.
M: Why?
L: Because I never had a dame hanging on my arm, I never took much interest in feminine charm. You need to be revered I need to prove that I’m not weird, so I’ll be your sugar daddy if you will be my beard.
M: A beard!?
L: Yep! You know, something a guy wears to make himself look manly.
M: Oh!

L: I will finance your designs and you will meet my folks. We’ll go to striking parties; you’ll laugh at all my jokes! I will call you sweetheart and you will call me dear. I’ll just be your sugar daddy… And when we are in public, I’ll love you, or appear to, and when we are in private, I will not come near you. We’ll sleep in separate beds, you needn’t be a-feared. I’ll just be your sugar daddy if you will be my beard.
M: I’ve long suspected that love is for chumps, one minute you’re in heaven next you’re down in the dumps. You start with romance and end up in a strangement, so maybe you and I can come to an arrangement.

L: (spoken) That a girl-
M: I am what I am, and I know what I know, if I marry a man it’ll be for his dimes. I don’t care if things outwardly appear you’ll be my sugar daddy and I’ll be your beard.
L: My mother always pried because she thought I was odd, but when she sees you by my side she will cry out, “Oh thank god!”
M: When we marry I’ll take your name-
L: Perhaps a hyphenated surname?
M: Let me see how that fits. I’ll be Myrna Ranapapadophilou-Lubowitz…
I LOVE IT!

(spoken)
L: Argh…
M: Wh-What’s wrong?
L: I got shot in the foot.
M: Oh! So, is this a um, is this a marriage proposal?
L: No! No, think of it as a business proposition. We will run a hotel and fashion empire.
M: Okay, and how will the domestic arrangements work?

L: I’ll cook the dinner and you can wash the dishes.
M: We should have some children! …So no-one gets suspicious.
Both: We’ll be legitimate and formal, and everyone will think we’re normal.
M: Then we’ll build a business empire bigger than !
L: And then when we retire we will move to San Francisco,
Both: Living like kings, all the money that we’ve cleared.
L: I will be your sugar daddy…
M: (Be my sugar daddy…)

Both: When we grow old we’ll tell the children that we’ve reared: that papa was a sugar daddy and mama was a beard!

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