Sketches - Gerry Brown's driving test | Текст песни

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• Gerry Brown's driving test

Scene: A car
Characters: Gerry Brown, Brian Smith,
Gerry's friend, a driving examiner
Brian has just arrived at the test centre in his
car. He is sitting in it, waiting for Gerry.
Brian: Hmm...Three o'clock. Where is he?
Ah, there he is. Gerry! Gerry! (Gerry
comes to the car.)
Gerry: Ah, hello!
Brian: Hello, Gerry,
(Brian gets out of the car.)
Brian: Well, the big day, eh?
Gerry: Yes, my driving test. It's very good
of you to lend me your car.
Brian: Oh, that's all right, Gerry. You have
had driving lessons, haven't you?
Gerry: Oh, yes. Well...I had one.
Brian: One?
Gerry: Yes, I had one last night. It was very
good.
Brian: That's not enough. You should have
had at least ten!
Gerry: Now don't worry. I've flown aero
planes, you know, and it's all more
or less the same. You just jump in,
switch on, and up she goes!
Brian: Yes, but this isn't an aero plane. It's
a car. My car!
Gerry: Oh yes, I can see that.
Brian: Hmm...that's another problem.
Gerry: What?
Brian: Your eyes.
Gerry: What's the matter with my eyes?
Brian: Well, they're not exactly perfect, are
they?
Gerry: Well, I know I can't see very well,
but -
Brian: But you told the authorities that
your eyes were perfect. You shouldn't
have done that.
Gerry: Yes, I know. But don't worry, everything
will be all right. I borrowed
these glasses from my uncle, and he
says they're marvelous.
Brian: Your uncle's glasses! But Gerry, you
should have brought your own
glasses
Gerry: I haven't got any of my own. But
don't worry, my uncle has worn
these for twenty-five years, and he's
a brain surgeon.
Brian: Gerry -Gerry!Look, I'll put them on.
(He puts on the glasses.)
Gerry: There, Oh...Um...Brian?...Brian? (He
bumps into the car.)
Gerry: Oh.
Brian: Gerry, look, here comes the examiner.
Gerry: Oh yes, I see. He looks like a very
nice man.
Brian: Gerry, it's not a man. It's a woman.
Gerry: Oh.
Brian: Now listen, Gerry. There's only one
way you can pass this test.
Gerry: Yes?
Brian: Be polite.
Gerry: Be polite and
Brian: Shhht, Gerry. Here she is,
(The examiner arrives.)
Examiner: Mr. Brown?
Gerry: Er…yes.
Examiner: I'm the examiner. Shall we get
in?
Gerry: Er...yes. Allow me to open the
door for you
(He opens the door and the
examiner gets into the car.)
Examiner: Thank you.
Gerry: Was that all right?
Brian: Very good, Gerry. But I think
I'll come with you, just in case.
Gerry: All right.
(Gerry and Brian get into the
car. Brian sits in the back.)
Examiner: Now, Mr. Brown. I'd like you to
drive the car straight down the
road.
Gerry: Straight down the road. Yes.
(He tries to drive away. The
car stops.)
Gerry: Oh. Sorry,
(He tries again, and drives
away very fast.)
Examiner: Turn right, Mr. Brown. (Gerry
turns left.)
Brian: Gerry! You turned left. She
said 'Right'. You should have
turned right.
Gerry: (Cheerfully) Sorry!
Examiner: Turn left, Mr. Brown.
(Gerry turns right.)
Brian: Gerry! You turned right. You
should have turned left.
Examiner: The traffic lights are red, Mr.
Brown.
Brian-Examiner: Red!
(Gerry stops the car at the
traffic lights.)
Gerry: Ha, ha! Very good, eh?
Straight on?
Examiner: Er...n-n-no, Mr Brown. I think
I'll get out here.
Gerry: Oh. Allow me to open the door
for you.
Examiner: No, no, thank you. That won't
be necessary.
She gets out of the car and
walks away.
Examiner: I should have stayed in bed
today. I knew it...I knew it was
going to be a bad day.
Gerry: Oh, dear.
Brian: I told you you should have had
more lessons, Gerry.
Gerry: Ah, green!
Gerry drives away very fast.
Brian: Gerry! Gerry! Slow down,
Gerry! Gerry!!

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