Sketches - Gussett and Rose | Текст песни

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• Gussett and Rose

Scene: A street
Characters: Two Englishmen: Albert
Gussett and Harold Rose
The two men pass in the street.
Rose: Goodness me!
Gussett: Well I never!
Rose: Herbert Bishop!
Gussett: Arthur Trigwell!
Rose: No...Actually my name's Harold
Rose.
Gussett: I'm Albert Gussett, as a matter of
fact.
Rose: Albert Gussett, Of course
Gussett: And you're Harold Rose. Of course
you are,
Rose: Well I never!
Gussett: Goodness me!
(They hesitate for a moment.)
Rose: Well, how are you, then?
Gussett: Fine, fine, How's Alice?
Rose: Alice?
Gussett: Yes, Alice, Your wife's name's
Alice, isn't it?
Rose: No, no...Gloria, actually,
Gussett: Oh, yes. Gloria Trigwell
Rose: Er… Rose.
Gussett: Rose Trigwell?
Rose: No, Gloria Rose,
Gussett: Gloria Rose, Of course. How is she?
Rose: She's very well. How's,. ,er...
Gussett: Doris?
Rose: Yes, Doris, your wife. How is she?
Gussett: Oh, she's very well.
Rose: Good, good.
Gussett: - but she isn't my wife.
Rose: No?
Gussett: I'm not married.
Rose: Oh.
Gussett: Doris is my sister.
Rose: Oh, yes
(They hesitate again for a
moment.)
Rose: Well, it is a small world, isn't it,
Herbert?
Gussett: Albert.
Rose: Albert, yes. It seems like yesterday.
Gussett: Yes, it certainly does...
Rose: When we were at that awful school
together.
Gussett: School?
Rose: Yes. Doesn't time fly?
Gussett: We weren't at school together.
Rose: Do you remember that awful
English teacher with black teeth?
Gussett: We weren't at school together.
Rose: Weren't we?
Gussett: No, we were in the Army together.
Rose: We weren't,
Gussett: Weren't we?
Rose: I was in the Navy.
Gussett: Oh
(They hesitate again for a
moment.)
Rose: Er... Albert, I mean Herbert -
Gussett: No, no, Albert's my name.
Rose: Er, yes...Albert, how do we know
each other?
Gussett: I was just wondering about that
myself, er...
Rose: Harold.
Gussett: Yes, Harold. Er...Are you an architect?
Rose: Yes! Are you an architect?
Gussett: No, I'm a taxi-driver.
Rose: Oh.
(They hesitate again.)
Gussett: Are you interested in boxing?
Rose: No, not at all.
Gussett: Ah
Rose: Do you go to the theatre?
Gussett: I went once about twenty years
ago.
Rose: I see.
Gussett: Do you take your holidays in
Brighton?
Rose: No, never.
Gussett: Mmm.
Rose: Do you play golf?
Gussett: No, I don't.
Rose: Well, that's not it then.
(They hesitate again.)
Rose: Do you know. Albert. I don't think
we've met before.
Gussett: No, you're right. We haven't.
Rose: Well, er...l'm Harold Rose,
Gussett : And I'm Albert Gussett.
Rose: How do you do?
Gussett: How do you do?
(They shake hands.)

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