Sketches - The dentist | Текст песни

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• The dentist

Scene: A dentist's waiting-room
Characters: Two patients (a man and a
woman) a 'dentist', the real
dentist
The man and the woman are sitting in the
waiting-room. The woman is calm, but the
man is very nervous.
Man: Um....is he good?
Woman: Pardon?
Man: The dentist. Is he good?
Woman: I don't know,
Man: You don't know?
Woman: No. I haven't seen him before.
He's new.
Man: New!?
Woman: Yes, It's his first day.
Man: Oh…This is my first visit, you
know.
Woman: Oh, really?
Man: It's the first time I've been here.
Woman: Oh.
Man: Don't you understand? It's the
first time I've been to the dentist
in my life!
Woman: I see.
(The man looks at his watch.)
Man: He's late, isn't he?
Woman: Well, it is his first day.
Man: Oh well, perhaps I won't wait. I
can come back tomorrow...or the
next day.
(They hear the dentist coming.)
Woman: Ah. Here he comes now,
Man: (Disappointed) Oh, good.
(The 'dentist' comes in, carrying a
large bag.)
'Dentist': Ah, good morning, good morning,
good morning. Sorry I'm late.
Now, who's first?
Woman: He was here first.
Man: Oh no, after you.
Woman: No, no, you were before me.
Man: No, no, ladies first.
'Dentist': Now, now, what seems to be the
matter?
Man: I've got a bad tooth.
Woman: So have I.
'Dentist': Well. I can do you both at the
same time.
Man-Woman: Both at the same time?
'Dentist': Yes. I've got two pieces of string.
Look!
Woman: String? To take out a tooth? Have
you done that before?
'Dentist': Not on people, no. But I tried it
this morning on the cat.
Woman: And was the cat all right?
'Dentist': Oh, yes! It got up, ran across the
room, and jumped out of the window.
And we live on the thirteenth
floor.
Woman: The thirteenth floor?
'Dentist': Don't worry, the cat's not superstitious.
Man: But dentists don't use string to
take out teeth!
'Dentist': Don't they? What do you want,
then?
Man: Well, to begin with, I'd like an
anesthetic.
'Dentist': Oh, you'd like an anesthetic,
would you?Just a minute.
(He takes a hammer out of his
bag.)
'Dentist': Ah, yes. Here we are.
Woman: What's that?
'Dentist': A hammer.
Man: Ah! Is that the anesthetic?
'Dentist': I'm not sure. It's the first time
I've given an anesthetic. Sit still.
(He hits the table; this frightens
the man, who faints.)
Man: Oh! Ohh!
'Dentist': Oh, it works!
(He puts the hammer down.)

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