SWEETIE BELLE (AQUARIUS): There's travel in your future when you Find out you're a robot, must escape an angry mob Just accept that you don't have a soul, And go all terminator on your enemies
SPIKE (PISCES): Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos That will treat you like a slave... You are the true god of them all, Although that you are still a little pipsqueak
RAINBOW DASH (ARIES): The look on your face will be priceless when you're Catapulted to the other side of town If you don't end up breaking both your wings, You'll do so on another zany stunt
FLUTTERSHY (TAURUS): You will never hold a relationship. ...wild animals are a lot of baggage... The stars predict that you'll wake up in jail, When your unpaid taxes all catch up to you.
CHORUS: That's your ponyscope for today (that's your ponyscope for today) That's your ponyscope for today That's your ponyscope for today (that's your ponyscope for today) That's your ponyscope for today
LUNA (GEMINI): Your birthday party will be ruined once again When your sister eats your cake Your love life will run into trouble when you Deafen all your suitors with that loud and crazy voice
CELESTIA (CANCER): The position of Jupiter says that you should Stop using it as a cosmic jail, oh please! Try not to start another war That your student will end up having to deal with
TWILIGHT (LEO): Now is not a good time to launch a royal coup And make the kingdoms bow down to your greatness Sit down and learn a couple of spells That won't backfire and blow in your face
RARITY (VIRGO): All Virgos are extremely generous and beautiful ...except for you... Expect a big surprise today When your work force organizes revolución
CHORUS: That's your ponyscope for today (that's your ponyscope for today) That's your ponyscope for today That's your ponyscope for today (that's your ponyscope for today) That's your ponyscope for today
BRIDGE: Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely That a special group of ponies wearing silly costumes have some kind Of really deep connection to the heavens and the stars And know the future more than you But let me settle all your questions with a very simple lesson that These ponies are the arbiters of all of existence. So don't even think of challenging their Omniscient authority or it might be the very final stupid thing you do.
Where was I?
APPLEJACK (LIBRA): A big promotion is just around the corner, You get to plow the North and South fields too! Don't forget to stock up on medicine, For when you get tetanus from your brother's rusty yoke
SCOOTALOO (SCORPIO): Get ready for an unexpected fall When Rainbow drops you in a flying lesson At least you'll get a joint hospital room, In matching pink full body casts
PINKIE PIE (SAGITTARIUS): Your friends don't like your parties anymore ...kill them... Just keep the Cupcake cellar nice and secure, Or you'll ride the lightning out of here!
APPLE BLOOM (CAPRICORN): The stars say that you've got a very special talent, but... You know they're lying! You might as well come to terms that You will never never never never ever get your cutie mark
CHORUS: That's your ponyscope for today (that's your ponyscope for today) That's your ponyscope for today That's your ponyscope for today (that's your ponyscope for today) That's your ponyscope for today
That's your ponyscope for today (that's your ponyscope for today) That's your ponyscope for today That's your ponyscope for today (yay yay yay yay yay) That's your ponyscope for today