If this the last song I ever wrote If it were to be the night that these motherfuckers murdered me If it were to be a car crash swerving into a Mercury Burgundy splash through the glass when sirens circle me I will be viewed as violent certainly Drug-addled so maybe I’ve only written the worst of me Maybe by me even writing these words I’m tempting the fates They come from the heart sent from a place I couldn’t find in my mind, I was blind, I was lost In a time warp when a mind walked from a sick scene on a sidewalk Full of suicide thoughts, full of false dreams and hopes that you and I bought Like dope so we had to find things to cope Ended up covered in dirt not washed with soap We ended up learning all about the cost of coke By the rope and seen some good folks lost from dope I can’t begin to begin, I’m just horrified You’re ? me ? this thing, you think it’s glorified I just hear the pendulum swing again and again The same song, broken dreams and dead friends I been where I been now I stand where I am As a man with a mic in his hand now goddamn Back holding the crack planet that’s covered with monkeys (?) As I walk through the halls of recovering junkies
[Chorus]
If this was that last song I ever wrote I’d tell you to grab it by the throat If this is the last song I ever write I’ll tell you to stand back up and fight
Live your life, give your life Stand up and fight, you’re mad Live your life, give your life Stand up and fight, you’re mad
[Verse 2]
If these the last words I ever spoke Would you listen closer? Would you close your eyes, envision what I’m supposed to be? Just a ghost of my boys that overdosed On crushed-up poison, crushed with the noise of the ocean Way before Affleck or Coka Nostra Before I had a cashed cheque or a poster Rode sofa to sofa clutching on the old toaster Writing on spray paper, grey days of cold culture Devil got an ulcer with a habit to match it In a bad temper so I’m grabbing a ratchet Just to go along with it my stakes are high To the people this is the way that I say goodbye To my baby boy Terrance, parents so opposite Just as smart as momma is, fiery as poppa gets Just one thing little man you cannot forget If your will is real nobody else can stop the s**t s**t I’m living proof, take a look and figure it I grew up in a paradox and rather not forgive the s**t But I had to box out this box and I live with it Boxed out of detox, they said I’m on some wigger s**t Hated, they were racist so I was facing bigger s**t Seen too many homies die just trying to dig a ditch I philosophize all my life burning cigarettes I became smarter but y’all returned to ignorant