I always knew I was different even back at six They tied me to a pole with a rope and wrap my wrists They punch me and kick me and slap me with sticks In the ribs and the kids called my daddy a bitch Said my father’s a faggot, it aggravated my dealings I didn’t know no better but knew I hated the feeling From laughing at me whenever they would crack jokes On my way to the store to get a pack of smokes For my nana, Benson and Hedges 100 with a note from my grandmother It’s something she suffers from arthritis Hands stuck together, drop down elbows It looked like baseball, she called marshmallows I could see the silhouettes of the past, hello The days back when I had those rain tap windows To peer through and just look at the world I was just a boy, I never knew what would occur Blur ahead to myself as a half-dead fiend Fucked up in my head from what happened between With my body on the floor I’m asleep from beans My life flashed before me, I peeped the scenes
[Chorus]
Yeah, the ghosts talk to me in my head They said I’m already dead And I had so much blood to be shed But I can’t spill it no more
And I have died a thousand deaths On the ground so out of breath Yeah I’ve been down that flight of steps But you can’t kill me no more
[Verse 2]
It’s a chain, we all grew up with the same dreams But hit the potholes in the street and became fiends Got in fistfights every night with the same team Right around the time that ? came clean I was hurt from my broken home and going crazy Rolling up coke in bones and so I am maybe One these troubled youth in this modern day America Thank God I’m still alive, I gotta say it’s Erica Who’s always by my side, that’s why I love her forever She knows my whole pain and all the stormy weather That I been through, what I overcame and what it meant too Other people looked at me like a freak with a pencil I got enough rage for every page in my books What I done I should be in a cage with the crooks But I’m not, barely by the skin of my teeth Maybe there’s a reason, time for me to finish this beef
[Chorus]
[Verse 3]
It’s the dawn of a new day and I’ve been given a platform All the moments in my life, I got a rap for em I gotta tell my story, bring it back for em Either that or I could slip away and the crack’s gone You think I let it happen well that’s wrong Who would’ve ever thought I would be saved by a rap song? I gotta capitalize cause I’m rapping with guys That I idolized as a kid, I’m revitalized Always looked at life through a writer’s eyes I learned this shit is hard, really man you either fight or die So I’mma stand up and fight that fight I’m going home broken bone and bloody tonight You motherfuckers ever look and study your life And see how fade and greyed they’ve made whatever you like Cause I can feel it in my fucking gut when I write This pain is sweet, I needed to be cut with this knife